Cured!

So I'm finally back from hospital, well I actually returned last night but I was far too occupied talking to the boy.

It turns out that I was suffering from a condition which is common amongst 18 months to three years old. Trust me to be a complete freak! So I had my tummy cut open, my small intesting unfolded and I am back on my solid food and home now. Hallelujah!

I never thought I'd be so pleased to see my housemates, as much as I love them, I cried twice before I even made it through the door, once because I was hugged and then again because I was offered a cup of tea. I mean, really, I get offered cups of tea at least 5 times a day and never before has it resulted in tears!

Costa then also managed to make me cry, I should make sure he doesn't feel too bad about this as it truely was not a bad thing. He was so lovely, I got to read part of his journal, non of which I am willing to share with a single being, other than to say that it was utterly, amazingly perfect. I've known he's incredible the whole time I've knowm him, but I didn't know it was to such an extent!

In worse news I also recieved a visit whilst in hospital from my "brother", the inverted commas are necessary not purely because of my current views of him but because he is not my real brother, he is the son of my dad's wife but they are currently undergoing a divorce. The reason for this will also elaborate on why I have feelings against my "brother. My father and Anna, my step mum since the age of three, are divorcing because of my dad's affair. An affair which I found out about but struggled over. I didn't know what to do with the information I had, I knew I should have told Anna and I wish I could have been selfless enough to have done that but I believe I redeemed myself in the end, and it is hard to risk your own happiness to do the right thing when so much is at stake. I've already lost my biological mother when I was three, she was so good as to tell her husband that I was not his child before she died and so I was dumped upon my biological father and although he hated me he had no choice but to bring me up. I'm going off on a tangent with this sob story though. I eventually confronted my father about what I knew, i informed him that if he did not tell Anna then I certainly would because I love her and I know she deserves so much more. He did tell her and although I knew everything would be fine I truely felt as though I had done the right thing. My step brother, Johnny, on the other hand did not agree. He is in France doing a ski season, well he was until I went into hospital, and so I hadn't spoke to him for a while, he found out from Anna about my father and my part played in the unfolding of the truth. He did not think I had done the right thing, in Johnny's eyes his mother is the most important thing in the world and he disliked me greatly for not going straight to her. I knew that eventually he would forgive me, realise how hard it was for me, even if I hadn't have been ill he would have came to see me eventually. But that doesn't stop me from hating him. Costa. is the only person I have spoke to about this and he was ever so lovely and tried to talk "sense" into me but as amazing as he seriously is he doesn't understand. His family are his world and they would never hurt him or each other, if anything bad were to happen his sister would always be by his side. I believed the same would happen between me and Johnny but he abandoned me, after so many important people in my life have. He knew how badly that would affect me. And for that I shall hate him for an eternity.

This is starting to get very depressing now. I am home, I am in love, I am happy. Things aren't perfect but I'll get by, and so nothing matters.